Understanding the mind’s role and embracing contentment for a flourishing life
It is challenging to open a medical journal in any specialty without coming across an article on burnout. These articles present statistics, trends, and various causes in detail. Some even propose sensible solutions such as flexible scheduling, peer support, delegation of clerical work, and an increased focus on personal well-being activities as steps in the right direction.
I have previously emphasized that “the absence of burnout does not equal wellness,” just as the absence of disease does not imply good health. We deserve more than mere functionality; we deserve to flourish. This is where positive psychology, often referred to as the science of happiness, can provide evidence-based guidance.
In recent years, it has become evident that many individuals attribute their unhappiness to trendy buzzwords like burnout or moral injury. However, the truth is that many of us are not well, either personally or professionally. Our discontentment does not originate solely from our jobs, colleagues, or the health care system’s flaws. Although many of us may experience burnout, it has little to do with our career choices. Few of us feel fulfilled, content, and free from stress and anxiety. Restlessness seems to prevail, and we constantly yearn for a better state of being. Consequently, we blame our jobs, our financial status, the people around us, and even the world, labeling it as burnout. While burnout is undoubtedly a significant problem for some, it has now become a convenient excuse for many to shift the blame away from ourselves. We are, in fact, the problem. But the good news is that we are also the solution. It is our lack of understanding that perpetuates our perpetual discontentment and relentless pursuit of happiness in various forms. Only through understanding can we find true liberation.
What is it that we have failed to grasp? What are the deep-seated questions we lack the courage to ask?
Why do we feel unfulfilled? Why do restlessness and anxiety plague us most of the time? Why do we seek solace in distractions like phones, TV, and alcohol?
What we fail to comprehend is that the discontentment and restlessness many of us experience are natural states of our minds. Our minds have evolved to protect us, constantly seeking opportunities and avoiding threats. Consider how you spend your days, observe your thoughts—they largely revolve around seeking pleasure and avoiding pain. We are all firefighters, tackling one fire after another, differing only in the scale of the inferno.
Our minds can never find true satisfaction because doing so would jeopardize their survival. Consequently, we take everything in our lives for granted. Our minds make us forget how fortunate we truly are. This phenomenon, known as hedonic adaptation, ensures that we take constant stimuli in our lives for granted, enabling us to easily recognize new stimuli (potential threats) while old ones fade into the background. The problem lies in the fact that the aspects of our lives that fade into the background are often the very ones that make life worth living—our close relationships, our health, and our meaningful work. This explains the existence of the “I’ll be happy when” syndrome. Reflect upon your own life, and you will notice that each stage is replaced by a new goal to achieve. This also elucidates the impact bias, wherein we tend to overestimate how a future event will make us feel, whether good or bad. In general, things rarely turn out to be as fantastic or terrible as we initially imagine, but our minds amplify this future “impact.” Both hedonic adaptation and impact bias serve as evolutionary mechanisms that drive us to remain alert, active, and perpetually dissatisfied.
However, here lies the crux of the issue—we are more than mere products of our minds’ evolutionary wiring.
Our minds will always prioritize self-preservation. They are hardwired to remain unsatisfied because satisfaction would threaten their survival. Imagine not being constantly vigilant for food or predators in the wild. Imagine if we became content with our situation and lost the motivation to keep searching. We would not survive for long. Satisfaction is akin to kryptonite for the mind.
Therefore, the fundamental nature of our minds is a state of visceral discontent—restlessness and a perpetual feeling that something is always missing, regardless of our achievements.
As we believe that we are nothing more than this evolutionary wiring, we continue to live in this state of visceral discontent.
Once discontent, we strive to feel better because most of the time, we don’t feel the way we want to.
Here’s another erroneous step we often take:
We seek satisfaction through our minds, which, by their very nature, can never be satisfied.
Thus, life becomes an endless pursuit. We convince ourselves that the next goal or achievement will finally bring contentment. While it may provide a temporary boost of happiness (pleasure), it fades as we grow accustomed to it and return to our baseline state.
For most of us, life has become a series of attempts to fulfill desires. However, each desire brings forth fear, anxiety, and ultimately, more desires. We worry about the possibility of not attaining what we want, and if we do get it, we fear losing it. If it remains, it ceases to provide the same level of pleasure, and we move on to new desires. Fear, anxiety, and endless desires fill our lives.
Yet, there is relief in understanding this.
Our discontentment is not our fault. It does not arise from our failure to find the perfect job, partner, or meditation practice. It does not stem from lacking a particular title, accolades, or a hefty bank account. It is not because we haven’t worked hard enough. Our discontentment simply emerges from our minds fulfilling their evolutionary purpose—to protect us.
Our only fault lies in failing to realize that we are more than the sum of our minds’ evolutionary wiring.
Once we recognize that most of our actions stem from our minds’ dissatisfaction, we can alter the equation of our lives.
The default equation ingrained within us from an early age is: DO-HAVE-BE.
Our minds (and society as a whole) tell us that we are somehow inadequate and must take action to obtain certain results in order to feel better about ourselves.
Consequently, everything we do becomes an attempt to find solace and feel better in some way. We become physicians because, at least temporarily, it makes us feel better. We trade our time for more money than we probably need because it makes us feel better. We place pressure on our children to achieve because it makes us feel better.
Since all pleasures fade due to hedonic adaptation, any activity driven by the desire to feel better will ultimately fail to provide what we truly crave—lasting satisfaction and permanent fulfillment.
So, what is a more effective equation to live by?
BE-DO-HAVE.
Begin from a place of wholeness and contentment, separate from the ceaseless discontent and desires of our minds. Eastern wisdom has long urged us to realize this as our innate state of being. From this place, DO whatever moves you, without any need to enhance your self-image or happiness level. Then, HAVE whatever results may or may not arise from these activities, which were done solely for the joy of the activities themselves.
What does this mean in practical terms?
We must earn a living. It is effective and necessary to earn what we need to live comfortably. However, for most of us, money becomes a substitute for some future state of contentment. We believe that if we amass great wealth, we can travel the world, retire early, or finally relax and enjoy life. The truth, however, is that if we cannot find joy in our leisure time now, more of it in the future will not bring us happiness. There is no future state of contentment—only the present moment. There is no future state of happiness—only the present moment. Can we make this moment content by understanding that our discontentment and unhappiness are merely products of our minds’ habits? Can we observe the constant stream of thoughts generated by our minds, which either cause or attempt to alleviate our discontent?
As physicians, we can strive to perform to the best of our ability. If the environment is toxic, it may be necessary to leave. Let us approach our jobs already content with who we are at our core. Let us not look to our jobs to fill a void within us. Let our self-worth not be dependent on titles, accolades, or bank account balances. On a personal level, imagine interacting with your children from a place of inner completion. If we don’t need them to make us feel better, our interactions with them will be more genuine and effective. Paradoxically, when we no longer need them to achieve or succeed in a certain way for us, they often excel even more.
Each of us harbors something within—a calling, something we would do willingly and passionately. It may be caring for patients for some, while for others, being a physician may simply be a useful and fulfilling career, but not the ultimate lifelong pursuit. In their spare time, they may engage in writing, poetry, painting, or music. Creativity for the sake of the activity itself. They approach this creative process already content, fully immersed without concern for the outcome.
Discover your own creative pursuit. Listen to the voice deep within your heart, rather than the one in your head urging you to do more, achieve more, become more than you already are. As the ancient Indian scriptures state, “You are already that which you are seeking.”
Sanj Katyal is a radiologist and founder, Positive Psychology Program for Physicians.